I wrote this in November 2005 when I first started my eatting disorder I got diegnosed with anorexia and bulimia and im still fighting it today. this poem shows some of the things that were going on in my mind at the time and the feelings i’ve felt.
Run in the bathroom
Pull up the seat
Throw up everything you eat,
Feeling of disgrace,
Needing of equality,
Losing of my personality,
Everything changing,
Feeling so fragile and alone,
No ones home
Grab the iron
Burn the skin
Then throw away the pin,
Bandage it up,
Hide it like always
Somone finds out,
Everyone knows,
The secret you never told is now out,
The trust you had,
Gone forever,
I stand there leaning over the wide open cover,
Doing it again
Feeling better
Noe one understands
Not even my fairy god mother,
everyone gone,
I’m all alone
Even when I picked up the phone
Nothing real
Everything fake,
When I realize I’ve made a big mistake,
Feeling so trapped,
Lost in myself,
Needing to replenish my health,
One person looking the rest stare
At me the girl who was once able to be there.
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