Beautiful people

have always been

poor role models.

Do not condemn us.

We need your compassion.

Sure, I stay at hotels

like Paris Hilton

but I’m not as brave

as Miley Cyrus,

or as sharp an actor

as Jack Nicholson.

When I hang out in L.A.

and cruise down Broadway

I know I can play

this here guitar.

I just wish I was

as cool as The Fresh Prince

and appeared in magazines

like Jessica Alba.

Man, I’d love to go deep

like Alex Rodriguez

and dunk like Yao Ming,

but I’ve got diminished skills

and lost a step.

I can’t even say

I’m pretty

like Muhammed Ali

or as good at doing verse

as e. e.

and I know I’ll never

write a novel

as funny as Kurt Vonnegut.

But when I’m with you

it makes me feel

famous.