Christmas Post

Mildred went to the post office
To buy stamps for her Christmas cards
“What denomination do you want?”
She was asked by Mr Everard
“That’s political correctness gone mad,
Has it come to this?” said she
“You’d better give me a book of Catholic
And a book of C of E” 

Santa Clause RIP

A Christmas stocking
Emptied on the bed
A slender volume
Santa Claus is Dead

A coded message
Someone’s telling me
My childhood is over
At only forty three.

Christmas With The Browns

Every Christmas day is the same
The Browns come round for lunch
I dread the time as it approaches
There a bloody awful bunch
He’s an opinionated git
She’s a loudmouthed fishwife
Their kids run amuck unchecked
Causing trouble and strife
They drink all my booze
And eat every crumb of food
They’re uncouth and vulgar
Obnoxious and just plain rude
They are a truly horrible family
I wish I could show them the door
They have no redeeming features
God I hate my brother in law

I Love Christmas

I love Christmas when it comes around
The smells and tastes, the sights and sounds
I love the Christmassy Cinnamon smells
The Carol singers and chiming church bells
I love to see the advent candle burning
The excited faces all the children yearning
I love the gifts done up with ribbons and bows
And Red faced Santa’s calling ho ho ho
I love the merry songs about the season of Yule
And handmade decs brought home from school
I love trimming the tree with festive things
Like candy canes and popcorn strings
I love the twinkling of the Christmas lights
And the garlands hanging colourful and bright
But the thing that makes the season for me
Is kissing my love beside the Christmas tree