I wish I understood what love is all about

I ‘spect that would save me much distress

Lots of money too, I know that without a doubt

I guess I just don’t know how a woman to impress

For one sweet thing I bought flowers and such

I even paid for a good restaurant dinner out

After which she told me she loved me oh so much

But a trailer wasn’t the home she’d been dreaming all about

Now I do love women for their many treasures

But I told one that she needed a new appraiser

That her cost exceeded the value of her pleasures

I didn’t think that justified her chasing me with a razor

You just got to tell what I need to know

I’m a good man but bereft of all my money

I’ve got none left for many favors to bestow

But I’d be a loving man and call my sweety honey