In the late night hours, Zaphyre scribes a sonnet about her life and guild.
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I am sought out often to keep and save
My brethren who fight to fulfill His will.
My prayers and heals keep them from the grave.
And my hate -filled faith to their hearts instill.
With my loyal steed I will ride each day
to explore the realms I have yet to see.
I will vanquish those that I cannot sway,
A a Hierophant, this is my duty.
Though I cannot fight like a Shadow-knight,
I am skilled with magic, my sword or staff.
I can smite our foes almost any night,
With their dying breath they shall hear me laugh.
Let their cries be heard till they move no more.
May their sacrifice fill me to the core.
And when I am home here in Neriak,
Where The Spires welcome the faithful now,
And the Marketplace has what we may lack,
Or the jealous queen who still reigns somehow.
I will worship Him and recount my quests,
Deep in Death Grotto where I have my home
for my brethren brave and my faithful guests,
Tales of Tier’Dal valor where ‘er I roam.
And with Innoruuk, I will work and fight.
We should help each other in every way.
Be it in the day or the darkest night,
I will serve our leaders and won’t betray.
To our Lord and guild, I will render such
of my life and hate from His very touch.
Now here’s a most interesting “take” on the workings of your universe. But man, this lady (or more exactly, her Guild) has some real issues.
> My prayers and heals keep them from the grave,
> And my hate-filled faith to their hearts instill.
“Heals” is a nifty way of describing one thing she does. Are you intending to say that her prayers and her applications of healing power not only keep them from dying, but give them faith as well? (”Hate-filled faith”. “My life and hate from His very touch,” later on. Eww. Real issues, I’m tellin’ ya.)
> With my loyal steed I will ride each day
> to explore the realms I have yet to see.
> I will vanquish those that I cannot sway,
> A a Heirophant, this is my duty.
The spelling is “Hierophant”. 
Anyway, I like the half-rhyme (if that’s the right term) of “day” and “duty”.
> Though I cannot fight like a Shadowknight,
> I am skilled with magic, my sword or staff.
> I can smite our foes almost any night,
> With their dying breath they shall hear me laugh.
> Let their cries be heard till they move no more.
> May their sacrifice fill me to the core.
The more I read about this woman (and still more about some of her superiors), the more I’d like to have my own protagonist pay her universe a visit as a Realmwalker and give the Furies (and/or the Shadowknights, whoever they are exactly) a reality check. Anyone for fan fiction?
Zaphyre desperately needs to learn that Hate is by no means the strongest force in the universe, that there are created beings (to speak of none others) walking abroad in Love that are many times more powerful than everyone in her Guild and their wicked allies put together. That would give her the backbone to stand up to some of her superiors and to follow her heart.
Thanks for your indebt critique on my poem, Johanan. “Duty” is supposed to rhyme with “see” and “day” is to rhyme with “sway”
I am tempted to do some chapters with you if you like to try it out. I don’t write nearly as much as you do but if you want to have a go at it, I am willing.
> “Duty” is supposed to rhyme with “see” and “day” is to rhyme with “sway”.
Oops. *Something* was trying to tell me I was overlooking something.
Let me think about your counterproposal! It sounds intriguing…
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