Sometimes life will get you down
Everything seems like a mess
And I have found at times like these
It’s best to put on a dress.

I do not whine or cry
I do not sing the blues
I head on down to Payless
And I buy high heel shoes.

Tired of all the craziness
Convinced that life’s a prick?
Well, my lips will always smile
When bathed in red lipstick.

Put on 6 layers of makeup
To hide any potential flaw
Apply some sexy perfume
Stuff lemons down my bra.

Head to Victoria’s Secret
‘Cause now the secret’s out
Snatch up some crotchless panties
And let it all hang out.

Pick up some blue mascara
I apply it like I should
And put on a little extra
Why does it feel so good?

So I put it all together
With heels I’m six foot three
But that sure doesn’t matter
Just means there’s more of me.