I began writing this in October of 2005, while I was completely messed up getting high on a daily basis, all day every day, and I didn’t finish it until I finally got clean on September 15, 2006. It is one of my favorite poems that I have written, and I hope this could be a wake up call for anyone out there who has been or is going through the same hell I went through.

“CRYSTAL”

A little over a year has passed
Since I first met you
At first we really hit it off
But, then I had no clue.

A few more months had passed on by
I always kept you near
“Crystal was my new best friend” (I thought)
With you I had no fear.

Then I started noticing
Everything had changed
I realized now you weren’t my friend
And my thinking was deranged.

More and more I needed you
Just to keep from getting sick
You stole my life, you evil whore!
You played an evil trick.

As I watched my life spin out of control
All the rumors became true.
You had me hooked, I couldn’t stop
I didn’t know what to do.

My friends and family noticed
The changes happening to me
All the while I tried to deny
And I refused to even see.

Then the really bad stuff started
The Police always at my place
They had reports you stayed with me
It was a never ending race.

Eventually after I had lost my friends
And my family pulled away
I knew I had to be done with you
No longer could I play.

I tried to forget and put you behind
As I rebuilt my life
Things were starting to get good again
No more drama, no more strife.

I struggled daily for a couple of months
To stay away from you
But that all ended really fast
And now you’re back with a vengeance too!

This time I’ve been really bad
Oh God, what have I done?
I don’t even like you now
You’re no longer any fun.

You’ve taken my soul, destroyed my life
I hate what I’ve become
I tried to run away from you
But in the end you always won.

How’d I ever let it get like this?
My addiction rules me now
I can’t seem to get away from you
As you proudly take a bow.

I wish now I would have listened
To my family and my friends
They’re the ones who really cared
And worried without end.

Once again I’ve walked away from you
I’ve been through more than enough hell
I struggle some days more than before
But I’m determined, I WILL get well.

So goodbye Crystal, you evil bitch
Stay far away from me
There’s no longer any room for you
In this better life I lead!
                                                        ~Ashleigh~

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