Dalai Lama’s Dilemma

A vast territory with a meager population,

Home of a unique brand of Buddhist religion;

A history of carefully bartered sovereignty

With an endless parade of peace treaties.

British imperialist and Russian communist,

American CIA and Nepalese opportunist;

All had a hand in this “roof of the world” Tibet

Where holy reincarnation is a “scientific” fact.

“Intertwined with China for several dynasties -

Yes, we are part of China…but we’re not Chinese!

You hailed the Qinghai-Tibet Rail an engineering marvel -

To us, it’s the last straw on the back of the camel!

We don’t want independence, at least not yet,

Meanwhile we can use all the help we can get;

So we’d welcome all your government subsidies

But please don’t send us any more Han Chinese!

We demand cultural and religious freedom

While maintaining our beloved feudal kingdom;

What the Chinese are doing we deemed cultural genocide

But we’d welcome Starbucks and other foreign enterprise!

We want all the goodies germane to modern democracy

And continue to rule with oppressive arcane theocracy;

Simply put, my friends, if I may tell you the truth:

We just wanted to have our cake and eat it too!”