Nice one!

looking back.
Such memories.
God bless,Glynis.
Deb

“the lushness of your body sustains,
breathes life from distant hills of time.”

LoveLy poem! really enjoyed reading it,Some wonderful lines…& gr8 Piccy

This is a romantic piece, well penned.

Outstanding poem and photo. Well done.

Really beautiful poem and picture!

A really well written piece. A pleasure to read.

Distant hills of time. Great title, great title. Great phrase.

I was disappointed in the poem however. I felt it was too short, I wasn’t allowed to get into it. A little too wordy, not enough dramatic expression.

I think you need to put more of you into it, there’s a hint of something there, but you’re holding back.

Distant hills of time (good) loved it.
Jagged rocks hold close, (good) even better.
the secrets of days gone by, (not so good) It’s out of place. Mountainous layers divine, reveal, (goodish)
show history to this absorbing mind, (no good)
delight my soul, break through the clouds (no good)
release your vibrant energy. (no good)
Foot trodden mounds and beaten ground, (good)
life erupts from beneath your beating heart, (No good)
sustenance and beauty combine, (no)
dressing green, distant hills of time. ( yes and no)
Voices from the past, (no) tired old phrase.
echo around your creviced paths, (goodish)
whispers of time gone by, (no)
the lushness of your body sustains, (no)
breathes life from distant hills of time. (yes and no)

I think you need to write this out a few times, change some of the phrasing, and repeat the title throughout. It’s not against the law to rework a poem.

“Mountainous layers divine, reveal,
show history to this absorbing mind,”

I know its not de rigeur to edit some one else’s work, but I can’t help myself. I think it would read better as:

Mountainous layers divine, reveal! or .
(insert new line)

By making that line into a completed sentence, it conveys more weight and dramatic impact. You become Moses asking the mountain to reveal its secrets. The next line doesn’t work. I think you put it in to explain the poem to us. We are not all stupid, don’t play to the lowest common denominator. Just write the damn thing, its meaning will become apparent.

“Foot trodden mounds and beaten ground,
life erupts from beneath your beating heart,”

I like the first line. It’s in sync with your metaphor, however the second line is a regurgitation of the old beating heart phrase. I don’t see its value here.

a great poem..I also love the picture there. good job Glynis.

Ahhh but Drew, then it would be yours and not mine, it was written as I wanted it to read, I don’t care about stanza’s etc, I did not think about this poem, I just looked at the hills and wrote, to me, that is poetry. I was not looking to educate anyone nor was I looking to be educated, however, thank you for your guidance. I did just as you suggested I should have done, I wrote the damn thing, I wrote it as the simple person I am, as for becoming Moses, thanks for the compliment.

To everyone else, I thank you too.

I love the poem the way it is. Don’t change a thing.

Allison ~ no worries there Thanks for your comment

This is just beautiful, Thanks for sharing.

Once again Glynis, a beautiful poem. Look for it on my blog as I am proud to share your work there!

What is it with people? This is a lovely interpretation Glynis. I hate that when these English majors try to come in and make it grammatically or what’s the word, more poetry like. We write from the heart and sometimes it doesn’t have a distinct form. Some of the best writers in history wrote like this, without guidelines. It’s like telling a chef to follow a recipe on paper. Well then, that’s the difference of being a line cook or opening a restaurant like me. Bragging? I think so! Way to go Glynis This is awesome.

Bless you all and thank you for your comments, support and guidance

I liked , your spears this poem in the air and I will cripple it my way and I do mine with my interpretation, this is art.

It is really pretty, Glynis.

I found Drew\’s comments here a little worrying. Firstly, he (or she) hides behind complete anonymity, which is not quite what one would expect or want here. If Drew Diligents wishes to critique (not their real name unless they had the most appalling parents)then that person should (and would – if they had any guts) do it under their real name.

Secondly (and I am sure that Glynis would not agree with this criticism because she is far bigger than this, but I am not) then – even under their pen name – they should not publish such pedestrian and less than average work themselves which tries to masquerade as something a little more than that by using the occasional big word. Go look at the titles (don\’t read them, tho, that would only be giving this person reads). Inspiring – hardly.

That, however is not the point. Dilligents – one of the things I do is teach poetic understanding and I would give you a very poor grade for your critique, (too good a name for what you have done but I will grant you this). In fact if I were to ask you to critique a poem and you handed this in, you would fail in you assignment. I am tempted to do this to one of your own articles to see how you would feel but am neither cruel or amateurish enough to do such a thing.

You do a dreadful job pretending that you know anything about poetry – and any reply here where you flash your credentials will not, I am afraid, do your reputation any good whatsoever because your petard is hoisted, my friend.

You admit (with some hubris) that \’we are not all stupid\’. Too late. Game over already!

You come across as patrician (without all the necessaries and so you simply come across as patronizing), offhand (without the knowledge necessary to do it with any flair) and distinctly ignorant (aplenty) in terms of what the aim of this poem really is, You don\’t take poems out of the fridge to thaw but your own words, (particularly considering what you have written yourself) ice this page up and turns is polar. What on earth were you thinking?

Glynis does not pretend to be the next Laureate. Her words are heartfelt and comforting and reach out to many – her popularity as an online poet(ess) is only matched by her generosity as an individual. Some little green god is, I think, at work here. Her skill as a poet withstands your feeble attempt to undermine.

I would much rather the warmth and realness of Glynis\’ work than the psuedo-intellectual junior high school cod-philosophy of your own work. Any day.

This crude dissection of the poem does you no credit at all. Your own work doesn\’t pass muster so you decide to take your shortcomings out elswhere lest your own be discovered. Pah.

Your cruelty is only matched by your ignorance.

RJ I thank you firstly for your friendship and support and secondly for seeing my work for what it is. I could have erased the comment but as there was no personal abuse but another’s opinion I felt it should stay. Thank you all for reading my work as it is meant to come across, from my heart and eye.

Aha …this’s unique. I like the pic. Take care!

Your work is great, Glynis, it comes from the heart. It’s a great shame that some people don’t have that sensitivity!!!

Pooops, yes, that was me, I forgot to use the authentication thingie!

Oh dear, I do have a problem today…not Poops! Oooops!

A great poem. Very easy too read eloquent language.

This was good and unique. Unlike anything I have read before. Thanks for sharing!