By Brian Mcclanahan on Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 4:38pm.

i think of my life and what I’ve become,

renumbering back when i tried to end it under the barrel of a gun,

looking back at all the shit thinking wow,

look at me now,

how I’ve turned it around,



i remember falling to my knees,

yelling at god as i would beg and plead,

why me,

i cant break free,

why do i continue to lose my dreams,

why am cursed to live in these streets,

i just cant see what you want from me,



i know i haven’t been the best person,

i did things to people that didn’t deserve it,

but I’m doing the best i can,

i just wished someone would take my hand,

show me the way to make it end,

there’s only so much a person can stand,

when i looked at my life this ain’t what i planned,



i sit back now and remember the days,

when my only worry was getting paid,

my only other concern was saving face,

i look at myself in disgust,

wishing i wouldn’t have been so blind,

i didn’t realise how much it would effect my life,

how i cant sleep at night,

the way everything continuously circles my mind,

hoping it will fade away with time,



but it never seems to change,

not a day passes that i cant still feel the pain,

its like a virus slowly driving me crazy,

makes it hard to get by day by day,



i sit here pleading once again,

begging for all the memories to end,

a life once lived,

is a memories that make you feel tormented,

i will continue to stand tall and hide this pain,

there are very few that will ever understand,

but for those that have grown up alone and hard,

don’t let your past effect who you can become or who you are,

everyone can change tho we cant forget we can leave it behind,



believe in yourself,

don’t rely on the thoughts of everyone else,

this life is to short to try and prove a point,

so don’t waste it on the life we once lived,

tho it will always bring us pain,

this is what makes us different from the rest,

this is what makes us good people and better than most,

this is are life we gotta take it by the reins and don’t let go.

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