Doubtful Mess

Kristie Claar on Jan 11, 2012

Tags: doubts, Poetry by Kristie Claar, worries

When stress and lack of communication stike any relationship, including a marriage can become doubtful.

I close my eyes and think of the times I felt like I was special

But then creeps in the other night; triggered in my mind worries unnatural.

Trying to become one my lips sought yours but never once did they connect

This is when unnatural thoughts become a sea of doubtful mess.

When we were through I had my doubts of what we were to each other

I can’t help but feel I’m not the wife or even rank as a lover.

When I had an affair with a married man – back before you and I

I never felt I was just a lay – so why with my husband do I feel this way?

I know our marriage has never been perfect but there are certainly things I miss.

The tenderness, loving, and caring – all seem to be misplaced I guess.

Is this how our life is to be? I ask God time and time again.

He answers me with a kinder you;

I wish I knew what to think; I wish I could be completely sure.

I wonder if we are too far gone to continue being married?

I look at you and you don’t look happy and I don’t know what to do.

To keep the peace we bite our tongues and stay out of each others way.

Do we do this because we know it’s over or just because we don’t know what to say?

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Comments (24)

prsol46 on Jan 11, 2012
That brings about a lot of thought. It’s never easy in such a situation.
Rosettaartist1 on Jan 11, 2012
well written
teacherjoe on Jan 11, 2012
Have you thought of going to a marraige counciilor? They helped me a lot when I had some very bad problems.
pogi253 on Jan 11, 2012
nice share
ittech on Jan 11, 2012
Great stuff.
Kristie Claar on Jan 11, 2012
Thank you all for your wonderful comments! We are fine, we just need to communicate which we have been since I wrote this. This is just the way I deal with my feelings. All is well. Thanks again and God Bless!
ozicha on Jan 11, 2012
awesome
JellyBean091507 on Jan 12, 2012
so glad to hear that things are ok…
Ixodoi on Jan 12, 2012
That was really touching.
ittech on Jan 12, 2012
Very nice article.thanks..
Martin Kloess on Jan 12, 2012
Very good.
Kristie Claar on Jan 12, 2012
Thank you all for the wonderful support. God Bless!
lxdollarsxl on Jan 12, 2012
must have been very hard to write this, but i see it must have helped you and things are ok now.
Angelji on Jan 12, 2012
talk more ,see if spark is still there. God Bless !
girishpuri on Jan 13, 2012
i like it
Kristie Claar on Jan 13, 2012
Thank you lxdollarsxl, honestly it was not that hard to write. Usually what is on my mind comes out on paper and it makes me feel way better because then I can get the bad thoughts out of my mind and reflect on the good my hunsband and I have.

@Angelji – I do love my husband, but he, at times, is the most difficult guy to talk too. I just know when to keep my mouth shut. Only took me 8 years…lol

@girishpuri – thank you for reading and commenting

God Bless you all!
ImKarn23 on Jan 13, 2012
Wow..raw and honest! my respect and awe for that..marriage is hard, monogomy unnatural..my feelings are mixed on whether martyrdom and marriage go hand in hand..
great post
sheilanewton on Jan 13, 2012
This brought a big fat tear into my eye. So sad.
Kristie Claar on Jan 13, 2012
Thank you ImKarn23 and sheilanewton for reading and supporting my work. God Bless!
Irfan Nurhakim on Jan 17, 2012
Great, I like this!
Jay F. Samson on Jan 17, 2012
Wow, nice job!
Kristie Claar on Jan 18, 2012
Thank you for your kind comments Irfan and Jay F. Samson. God Bless!
dwisuka on Jan 31, 2012
thanks for sharing this. I learn something here
Kristie Claar on Feb 1, 2012
Thank you for reading and commenting dwisuka, God Bless!

Doubtful Mess

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