inside the frig
there’s food
my brain says I want

I know I am not hungry
but I look anyways

close the door
hoping to ignore the hunger pains
that are only inside my head

my hand reaches out
grabs hold of the frig door
pull it open
and the light comes on
illuminating all that’s within

eat, eat, eat

my stomach hurts now
and I feel guilty
for eating when I wasn’t hungry

wish my willpower was stronger
so I wouldn’t eat
when only my brain says to eat

someday, maybe,
there’ll be an illuminating light
which shines in a persons head
to show what’s really there
when one eats
when one really isn’t hungry

sometimes eating
pushes away stress
for a few seconds at least

eating pushes away boredom
it sometimes adds excitement
to a moment in time

but eating sometimes pushes away the pain
that is invisible to everyone else around
and I don’t know what to do
except stuff the pain further inside
to hide from seeing the light of day

so here I am
loosing weight
just to gain it back

my weight is a yo-yo
and I hear giggles in the distance
even though it’s only 50 extra pounds

so I stay here
hidden away