Candidates running to be the next President are making a lot of promises and pledges.  Here are ten pledges that the candidates will not keep:

1.   I will not raise taxes.  Of course I’ll raise user fees and a whole bunch of other fees.

2.   I will not run a negative campaign.  I’ll do the lying and misleading through different media channels.

3.   I care about the environment. I am a conservationist.  Drill baby drill.  Frack baby frack.  Exploit the land baby exploit the land.  The sweet smell of a toxic dump can really enrich your senses.

4.   I will respect your privacy unless you plan to have an abortion.  Also, I will declare all forms of birth control as being  unsafe.

5.  I will not eliminate Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.  I will starve it for funding.

6.  I will not abuse the power of the Presidency.  I understand that there are checks and balances.  By the way, keep those illegal contributions coming.

7.  I will produce over a million jobs.  Of course we’ll lose two million jobs but who is counting?

8.  I am scandal free.  I will eventually release my taxes.  I have nothing to hide.  Liar, liar, pants on fire.