You can just tell

Somethings just change your life.

Everyone has one of these things.

For some people its a divorce.

For some it’s sex.

Some people change when they have kids.

Some never stop being kids.

Sometimes all it takes is a ‘Hello’.

Sometimes it’s just a boy.

I hate taking the bus

But I didn’t have a choice today,

my ride was AWOL. 

By ‘my ride’, I mean my Dad.

But this time, Dad equaled ride.

He wasn’t home when I woke up.

Must have been at work still.

That man is never home,

but he usually gets me to school.

But no, not today.

He’s out who-knows-where,

doing who-knows-what.

With I-know-who.

My dad is a great guy, really.

But all great men can fall,

when the right whore shows up.

and Laurin was the right whore.

At least I didn’t have to walk.

Vibrating down the road

The bus was a long & lonely ride.

It was loud & frantic, as I guess

most buses usually are.

We pulled up to the front of the school,

and filed out of the bus like ants

going back to their ant hill.

This is where we work.

Work to impress our parents.

Work to surpass each other.

This is where we socialize.

The whores in the hallways.

The dealers in the parking lot.

This is where I find Nolan.

He’s not in the halls, or in the lot.

He’s in front of the school.

In front of the school waiting for 

my Dad’s pickup truck to pull up.

But it’s not going to.

If you insist

Hey Em,

Don’t you usually get a ride from your dad?

He was right, I usually did.

But not today, my father wasn’t around.

“Yeah, I usually do. But he was up late last night.

He’s been spending a lot of time at work”

That’s what he told me,

I’m not sure how true it was.

Oh, Did you need a ride?

Like, after school.

“That would be great,

are you sure it isn’t any trouble?”

Of course it wasn’t any trouble.

He doesn’t seem to ever be doing much.

We’ve only been friends for a few weeks now.

But he’s always been nothing but kind & chill.

‘Chill’ is a crude way to explain someone,

but it just fits Nolan.

When you’re around him, he just lets you feel

relaxed, like there’s nothing to worry about.

Anticipation 

Class seemed to go on forever.

Knowing that I would be let go soon

didn’t help.

I’m a very inpatient person.

So I start placing my books

in my bag.

Hoping it would make time

suddenly speed up.

It didn’t.

I felt anxious, as if I was waiting.

Anticipating some horrible,

or amazing

event that was about to take place.

But what was about to happen?

I didn’t know.

Do you ever get excited for nothing?

Like when the music slowly goes faster

in a movie.

It builds you up, makes you hold your breath.

Waiting for that something, that you don’t

even know yet.

Why is it so exciting if you don’t know

what you will be seeing after those

few moments

of anticipation.