When I had finished med school and begun my internship

The idea was to immerse us at the start to get us up to speed

So, back when emergency medicine was not seen as something special

Or requiring of the special skills only later recognized

That’s where we all began, the ER was ours to run as we saw fit

Oh, we had backup, of course, residents in ascending degrees of skill

And senior staff as well if things got out of hand

But mostly, there we were, standing there alone, the first line so to speak

Except, thank god, for the ER nurses, for they had seen it all before

And knew what tools you might need and how you should proceed

Some interns, as I recall, resented this supervision, at least at first

They were, after all, the doctors, and the nurses only nurses

But most were humbled soon enough, or simply pushed aside

By more experienced hands that mysteriously appeared when needed

And the nurses, well, they just stood well back, and smiled

But not me, I lacked the confidence that arrogance can give

I knew my limits very well, and they were limiting indeed

I was naive and inexperienced and under read and ignorant of much of life

I had never saved a life, or lost one either, and that scared me, as it should

But there I was, nonetheless, and to not succeed was not an option

So the long days went by in whole day shifts, some with little sleep

And I listened and learned and read and explored new things and limits

But still found comfort when things were slow

Or when I could sew at length to close a wound that did not threaten life

Or, better, do those few things I had learned that actually made a difference

Some things were actually quite funny and broke the serious mood

Like the teen with signs of early pregnancy she didn’t understand

I asked her in my professional voice if she’d been sleeping with a man

She’d been having sex, she said (not quite her actual words)

But could not remember ever having fallen asleep

Or the man who had lost inches off a vital organ to his lady’s sharpest knife

When she later brought in that bloody thing, it was too late for reattachment