And he lost forever what he then bemoaned as having been it better part

But still, at the completion of our work, the doctors, and the nurses too

Remarked that it was still longer than most they had seen before

Other things were tragic, like the accident with several dead upon arrival

But then there was nothing that could be done except to tell the next of kin 

And that I took in stride, drawing on some inner strength I didn’t know I had 

It was then I came to know that the immersion was truly working

That I could become the physician that I had hoped to be some day

But then a man walked in with a baby in his arms, I think she’s sick he said

The mother, other children in her tow, said she couldn’t wake it from its nap

Tiny, fragile, not five months old, a beautiful child, a little girl

But quiet, deathly quiet, and limp and pale without a movement to be seen

And cool now, from the shock she surely had and from impending death

Then I saw the burns upon her arms and legs, cigarette burns they were

I knew and was appalled, there was nothing I could do to save her

I gently took the baby from his arms and slowly walked away

The nurse, she knew as well and gently put her hand on mine 

And the child passed away

There are things in life that change your life forever

Some are good and some are bad, but it’s how one reacts that counts

What one learns, or doesn’t learn, or how it reaches in to touch your soul

Those events were almost fifty years ago, and my soul was touched indeed

And my life could never be the same again

The experience in the ER was good, it taught me what a physician really is

It’s not to do no harm, it’s to do what’s best for a patient, for a living thing

It was not my fault that baby died, she was far beyond my reach

But then too I could never be comfortable in a physician’s role again

I’d chose a field in which no patient would ever again be dying in my arms

It was research, and consultation too, I would pursue, objective facts alone

Safe and in no hurry, time to read and think if I didn’t know the answers

I could read the slides and samples, and tell the doctors what they said

An important member of the team, but beyond the touch of a patient’s pain

It’s there I’d made my contribution, where I could do what’s best for all

As years have passed I’ve found nothing to regret in the direction of my life

I’ve achieved what I could never have before, seen things not seen before

Revealed what science had never known, and brought new understanding

The events of years ago were not the only cause, of course

But I’d like to think that I’ve appeased, a tiny bit, the spirit of a battered child