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He said to me on the phone, “Don’t burn your bridges.” I licked my
thumb and my index and enclosed them on a flame, on a match I was
about to throw on this long winding road- gasoline leaking on
the sides. I contemplated an awful thing, I hate to admit… It’s funny
when people come into your life when you are in your most vulnerable
state. You get so safe guarded because you’re not sure if they are
there to hurt you. Your heart can’t really take it anymore. So I
closed the door once again, thinking perhaps I would fall back on some
safety net and the world’s problems would go away.  That garbage, man
it just stays in there rotting inside of you.

            On some grand holiday I wanted to stay inside like some agoraphobic,
until some message appeared saying, “we’re here, take your time. Let
us know when you’re ready”.  I could have tuned out..I got up and
ran instead. I see these two shadows in a car, and I wonder if they can see
what I felt-The way I walked, my face almost beneath my shoulders.
Perhaps they knew, but it didn’t matter because when she got out, she
grabbed me by the hand and then gave me this hug, “thank you” was all

I could say. I spoke in whispers all day, observing these newfound faces

Replacing and reflecting old faces I knew so long ago. Faces that circumvent

my mind, leaving me restless and nostalgic every night.  They’re all gone now, but some how they came alive in someone else’s eyes, telling me not to give in. They see it, even when no one else can.

I still remember the days when I would grab her by the hands tracing letter

upon letter in an open palm because she couldn’t see me, but she saw me

more than anybody else could… She knew these things. I would cradle on her couch and she would throw this blanket around me. I am here because she was there.  

These faces are a part of my life, inviting me and inciting me to rise. It is because of them, that I am very much alive. I just wish I could see them once again.

**Brandon Lee Williams, December 2011