I feel the need
To step outside
My comfort zone
But
Not in what you might think of as
The usual ways
You know
I mean
Not with people
And not by talking
And being more sociable
But
In terms of places and things and experiences
And
I want to feel
Warmth inside
Hotter than the sun
But colder than
The ice that breaks the surface
And
Every time I venture out
I get further away from myself
And come flying back into the centre of myself
Harder and faster
With a bang so loud
The clouds run away
Leaving only the purest sunshine in its place

…

Save me
As I abandon
Everything fake I hold on to
In order not to feel
All the years
Crumbling beneath me
Like sand-
Dunes on beaches
In sunset evenings
Knocking castles down with stones
And
Early mornings playing French Cricket
When the tide is a mile away
And other people are still in their sleeping bags
Dreaming
Of all the things they could do
If only they were
Awake

…

I’m on the bus
Away from everyone I know
Gazing at silhouettes of warehouses
Against a sky

It’s here
That I can finally escape
The meaningless noise
Of an office full of extroverts
I can’t connect to
Drowning out my thoughts
Hey you
I feel
Like you’re controlling my mind
Please give me
It back
I want to get away
From all of this
Because
It means nothing to me
I get nothing from this
And
If you notice
I give you nothing back
It’s because
I’m not there
I’m somewhere else
You never seem to have been
And
If you went there
You would probably destroy it