I dreamt of bouquets—

Roses and Lilies.

I dreamt of people—

Celebrating.

There are roses here—

Lilies too.

People have gathered today.

There is a celebration.

Mine.

I can see my family.

I know my mother is angry.

Not at my them—at me.

I shouldn’t have advertised

My sexuality.

Yet I see her tears.

I was her daughter—

She loves me…

But she still damns all homosexuality.

My father sits beside her,

Head bowed—shoulders shaking.

The best man I ever knew

Has been brought to his knees

Because somebody hurt his baby.

Flashes of my life

Dance through his memory—

My laughter rings in his ear.

How could anyone hurt his baby?

My brothers—my rivals and friends—

Sit on either side of our parents.
One stares straight ahead—

Eyes red, back straight—

Heart broken.

The other hides his tears

In the depths of his wife’s hair.

“Baby sister—who will keep

Our childhood memories alive?”

He doesn’t know how to say good-bye.

A woman is there—

We share no common blood—

But she is the woman I have loved.

I am so thankful I was alone

When they caught me—

The blows rained down

And my only other thought

Was of her safety.

In her eyes I see the pain.

It is worse than the beating

That took me away.

My pain is over now—

I feel no more.

The pain they feel

Is everlasting.

They are the survivors

Who loved me.

I don’t know the names

Of my attackers.

I cannot understand

Their malice.

I know they took me away

From love and family.

Do they deserve forgiveness?
It isn’t for me to say.

The people I love

Are suffering because

Those people chose to give me

Their own twisted judgment.

My mother will never know

What great things I would accomplish.

My father will never hear

The laughter he loved so much.

My brothers will never again

Confide their secrets to their baby sister.

And she—the woman I thought

I would never find—

Is alone now and living in fear.

I was a daughter, sister, and friend.

I was a lover, dreamer, and confidant.

I was a student—a teacher.

I was an activist and a supporter.

I was a gay woman.