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I am whatever mood I’m in
and my moods change instantaneously.
I am what I am
and nothing can change that.
If you want me – you must show me
so that I CAN believe.
Though, you don’t constantly
have to be proving yourself to me.
Just every now and then
I need little assurances so that
I may not doubt.
My head has too long been up in the clouds,
and I need someone to bring me back down to earth.
You don’t need to understand me,
for I don’t understand myself.
Just accept me for what I am
with all my ups and downs.
Nobody has caused me to be this way
for I’ve always been like this.
Life has always been a constant struggle for me
though it certainly hasn’t by a long run
been all bad.
Life is beautiful;
and I love every minute of it.
- ALL of it.
I’m getting stronger now;
and with a little help or moral support,
I know I can make it!

Feeling Abandoned (written on 1-19-1974)

Suddenly I find myself all alone;
with no hope of breaking down the prison doors.
For a little while, the prison doors were open
and I was free.
I was so very happy.
But even among all that happiness
lay a few thorns.
The nightmares of that prison
would occasionally come back to haunt me
at very inopportune moments.
But that little bit of sorrow was so much
overcompensated by the heaven
that I had found.
Then, all of a sudden,
so sudden that I didn’t have time to think,
I was thrust back into that prison
and the door was firmly shut in my face.
My world was completely dark
except for one small window
that lay within that locked door.
I realized that I would have to
make it on my own,
without any outside help.
Day by day, the window
gets a little bigger.
Pretty soon it will be
big enough for me to squeeze through.
And this time, I will know
that I did it by myself,
all alone without any  help.
And I know I’m gonna make it;
and that this prison will disappear
from my mind forever.