When i was a little girl my mother
always told me never change for anyone,
just be yourself and you’ll be fine.
I always believed that I would never let myself change.
I always figured that I would always be that simply happy girl.

As the years went on I kept the promise to stay myself,
kids would tease me and of course that didn’t please me,
but still I refused to change, I wanted to be stubborn and headstrong
and determined as I had always been.

I had a few friends and I had many who tried to turn me into
wannabes like them. but i remembered my mum’s words and strived
on and ignored the hear say and the rumours that just kept on spreading.

I had always just been me, if people didn’t like that,
it wasn’t my problem, they could just get over it.
Then one day I met a group of people.
They made me feel wanted as I started my first few weeks
at high school. I wanted to be just like them.

As that first year of school went on,
I fell head over heels for a year ten guy,
who had become my best friend,
of course I figured to myself, he will never like me though.
So many pretty girls what reason did he have to pick plain old me?

Things began changing not long after that,
my mum was always working dad too,
my sisters always ignored me, my best friend at a different school
so i found myself looking to my friends at school
as my role models. I wish I had known then how big
of a mistake I was making.

By year nine everything seemed perfect,
well at least at the start. Now i had always noticed
that some of my friends had a mean side, but I always
ignored it, i mean who doesn’t have a mean side to them
at one point or another?

I had my guy now, don’t ask me how for I’ll never understand it.
We were going fine and then my “friends” started making comments about he and I.
Saying how he doesn’t really love you etc etc.
And because I’m sad to say I had changed, and become so obsessed with what
THEY thought not what I thought, I believed them.

It wasn’t until a month or two ago, when I had lost all I ever
wanted because of my own stupidity, that i had the brains to realise,
that this was all because i was so caught up in a crowd.
A crowd of people who bad mouth others and eachother.
THIS is what i had become?
I remembered that promise I had made to myself
and i began to cry tears that refused to dry.

Now i don’t care about following that damn crowd.
I don’t care if I’m not in a COOL group. I’d rather be alone
then be heartless. I hurt so many and one is particular i will
forever regret.

For those who remember who I use to be, be lucky,
and just know that she is there inside me and that’s who i am gonna
be once more….me