I must somehow dismiss parts of the past.

The parts of the past that people do not understand,

and question

and I find myself having to explain to them,

or re-explain, tell long stories about, answer their questions about

when really—

I should not have to.

Why should I have to?

Should they, if they are truly my friends just trust me?

And love me for me? Trust that there is an answer,

trust that there is a story, an explanation and that

if they wanted one they could have one?

A real friend would.

True friendship loves unconditionally and does not

expect an explanation.

So I must stop agonizing and making myself

feel as though the people that expect some type of explanation,

the people that believe I must have somehow done them wrong

just by not being there to provide them with an answer

need one.

Because there are so many around me that do not.

They love unconditionally.

I want to live in the present,

for the present

for the weather that circumferences me now.

Not for a vacation I have not planned yet

not caught up in a countdown for tomorrow

but in the presence of making a difference for today

and in the people that are filled with the love now.

Not for the love I lost yesterday

and especially not for the things I cannot change.

Today is how we see it,

what happens

and how we react to it.

More importantly, it’s who we choose to

hold close to us as we are in this journey.

And the unconditional are lovely, but few.