The Blind Man
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!” The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.” After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.” The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

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Stanley the Sperm..
Once upon a time there was a sperm•~ named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor. Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He’d do push-ups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm•~ just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing. One day, one of them became curious enough to ask Stanley why he exercised all day. Stanley said, “Look, pal, only one sperm•~ gets a woman pregnant and when the right time comes, I am going to be that one.” A few days later, they all felt themselves getting hotter and hotter, and they knew that it was getting to be their time to go. They were released abruptly and, sure enough, there was Stanley swimming far ahead of all the others. All of a sudden, Stanley stopped, turned around, and began to swim back with all his might. “Go back! Go back!” he screamed. “It’s a blow job!”

A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun. ‘Open the fucking safe’ he yells at the woman behind the counter.’ ‘But we’re not a real bank’ she replies, ‘we don’t have any money, this is a sperm bank’ ‘Don’t argue, open the fucking safe or I’ll blow your head off’ says the guy with the gun. She obliges and once she’s opened the safe door the guy says ‘Take out one of the bottles and drink it.’ ‘But it’s full of sperm!’ she replies nervously. ‘Don’t argue, just drink it’ he says. She prises the cap off and gulps it down. ‘Take out another one and drink it too he demands. She takes out another and drinks it as well. Suddenly, the guy pulls off the mask and to the women’s amazement it’s her husband. ‘There, ‘ he says ‘it’s not that fucking difficult is it!?!”
A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her it is still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night at dinner she does. About a week later she’s back at the Dr. and says the pill worked great. I put it in the potatoes like you said. It wasn’t five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right there on the table. The Dr says, I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages. Naah she says, that’s okay. But we aren’t going back to Denny’s