Another fix, sleeping pills aren’t enough, starvation, hell not even a broken heart is enough for me to get off any more, a masochist wanting desperately to play sadist. Goodbye Is My New High… death has to be that ultimate high.

Heads up and eyes high
Into the clouds, into the blue
And yet falling as if for a fallen angel
I am falling, have fallen, for you
But they all wonder why

Mouth agape, heaving, breathing, and speaking
To your back, your shadow, and your silhouette
My words are carried on the wind
The you you’re not, the one I can’t forget
Such volume; the crying and screaming

How many happy pills and forgotten thrills
To look up and see my betters
And love, yes love Big Brother
Acknowledging, you and I will never be together
Is this so far or very near?

Hotter and harder, straighter and higher
And I want to bury “it”
Deep and so down below
How I am truly sick
For you my one desire

But I will only ever rise a few feet
Never will I be one to fly
Or live truly free… but in death
Does anyone ask or cry
Where it is I now sleep

As high as I’ve ever been
I have only set out to go lower
Where you say and he says I belong
Never to fly, climb, or jump; only fall regardless
Why is this so very wrong?
To love you girl, never knowing your world
Such is my greatest sin

To look so very high
And I live even lower
Goodbye Is My New High

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

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