An answer to challenge #14.

We took a trip out of town today,
My silly friends and me
The work was done; it was time for some fun
And to see what we could see

Hand in hand we walked and we ran
To the forest where we could hide
With burgers and buns and bottles of rum
We sat on the firelit side.

Friends just kept on coming, and soon
They were more than the church ever had
Just a bonfire and music and kids and food
None of us thought we were bad.

The music tugged at my body, and soon
I danced with the homecoming king
He fed me wine in a plastic glass
And laughed when I started to sing

Lena was hovering close to the road
Watching for cops to appear
While Billy and Ray lit their pipes, and shared
Their poison with all who came near

The brothers brought beer and guitars and tall tales,
And the sisters their feminine charms
And more than one couple whirled on away
Embraced in each other’s arms

Then Johnny said something, and everyone laughed
But Buddy was white as a sheet
Just yesterday he would have had Johnny’s back
But now, Johnny bled at his feet

The brothers jumped Buddy with knives of their own
And the brawl became ugly and fierce
Those pocketknives never a weapon they were
Until anger and lust made them pierce.

Nearby was a shack that the hunters used,
And I slipped in to quiet my heart
As I shivered and wept for the innocence lost
In the forest that night in the dark

An old broken mirror hung there on the wall
And mocked my reflection, it seemed
Cursing and fighting broke out all around
Till the fire was like part of a dream

As I looked in the mirror and sobbed my distress
It seemed he was smiling at me
It was our night to run, but he had all the fun
That age old enemy.

13
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Comments (15)
  • Mean lean gangster on Nov 4, 2009

    Good Story!

  • Christine Ramsay on Nov 4, 2009

    That is such a wonderful write. Fun nights out can so often turns into nights of horror, especially with all the knife crime around.

    Christine

  • Darla Cooke on Nov 4, 2009

    Excellent poem for the challenge!

  • Atanacio on Nov 4, 2009

    a great entry–goodluck

  • K.Reshma on Nov 4, 2009

    Wonderful poem

  • Melody SJAL on Nov 4, 2009

    So gripping and powerful.

  • Rod Ferrandino on Nov 4, 2009

    wheels within wheels; this one reaches pretty deep; I really enjoyed the way you provide the tragic turns.

  • diamondpoet on Nov 4, 2009

    Wow that was such a great flow, as I read I felt like this was part of a song. Thanks for sharing. Great write.

  • alc on Nov 4, 2009

    Great Write! Thanks for another great share!

  • Karen Gross on Nov 4, 2009

    A tragic tale – very well told. It is so unfortunate how often this sort of thing happens – a good time is ruined by the combination of alcohol and hormones.

  • Katie Marie on Nov 4, 2009

    This tragic tale is based on way too many real ones. Sometimes an automobile crash that takes several lives or many other unfortunate scenarios that have been played out every in year in many a small town.

  • Duff D Moss on Nov 5, 2009

    Wow that was a different one for you. It started off so fun and light and finished so heavy. Wonderful tale. Thanks for playing in the challenge again dude.

  • Used to be Shelly on Nov 9, 2009

    Beautiful poem, Marantha. It seems to be written from the heart. I really liked it.

  • Butterfly Musings on Nov 9, 2009

    this is a beautiful poem with a great story,

    it is a shame all drunks arent happy drunks, it seems alcohol brings out the savage in some,

    awesome

  • cafftee on Nov 10, 2009

    Like this very much, especially the unexpected turn to the darker side of life at the end. Excellent rhythm and flow throughout.

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