“Hello my name is Guy C. Man,

But I would prefer you call me Mr. Man

I was born with an unusually large taint

THE REASON, I warn you might make you faint

BECAUSE, I was born with bizarrely small balls

Couple with the tightest anus that’s also thus small

This gives the appearance of a great giant grundle

And my dick is a branch amongst trees in a bundle

Next to my large taint it seems microscopic

Although, that has nothing to do with our topic

When speaking in public it’s good to share something

The crowd can’t relate when of you they know nothing

I’m also afraid to stick my penis into women who practice whore arts

So from left fist up to elbow I have herpes and gentle warts

And somehow gonorrhea, just on my index

They should make gloves with condom latex

 My right hand and elbow are in good shape

I’m more careful with that one, I wrap it in tape

“Your teacher is sick and I am your public speaking substitute,

Unless all the symptoms are mere sub-acute”

Said the man in the front of the class

Oh, yes! This poem will be kick ass!

“Before we get started, by law, I must surrender,

I am a convicted violent sex offender.”

Man then spun at the head of the class,

Tucked his head back and chugged from a glass.

He drank it whilest in spin motion.

It was an adult elixir or potion

The children looked at each other, all so confused

They were all vague on which emotion thet should have used.

Should they be scared or is this teacher a comic

Man’s un-tailor haired and lips crusted with vomit

Were strong as a clue, but the children did laugh

It started as few and then the whole class.   

Man stopped and breathed deep, null of over exertion

Instead from the drinking and breathing diversion

“Your parents will be inform by mailbox today,

Laugh all you want it is true what I say.

The old postman’s murder really was great,

That is the reason those letters are late.

But who cares about him,

His life was so dim.

He was stealing Netflix and holiday cards

His trunk was covered in envelope shards.

Funny,

His last words were, I’ll give it back,

That is exclusive, you’ll never read about that”

Just then a girl started to get up

But sat back down, avoiding the flying glass cup.

Man came over and rubbed his hand on her chest

“Good job young man! You just passed the test.”

The girl with disgust ripped his hand from her breast.

This girl had a rack which big birds could nest.

A boy in the back stood from his spot

He had a big crush, to him that girl was hot

“Stop, your disgusting get off, Mr. Man,”

“Trust me, I want to! Stop moving my hand!”

“Hey GUY, get off her,” hesitantly yelled the big jock

The rest of the class was stunned in mid shock.

Closer to Man were the steps the boy took

But Man slammed the boy’s throat with a narrow hard book

The class, just then, ran to the door

And notice the opening power was poor.

But our brave Mr. Man is far from a rookie

He had pad-lock, and hooks and wedges

Sliders, and dead-bolts, and jammers

He even had a guard beast and called it a Snookie

The children were pushing and shoving to get out

Their cries were not failed the halls echoed their shout

Attention was drawn and other class’s doors open

Up ran the teacher from just down hall

With a giant key chain that happen to fall

The screams grew less loud but full of more dread

 Voices dropped off as if they were dead

The key holes are filled with glue and rocks

Not only that but with extra locks

To be continued……….