Grandpa’s taking me haggis huntin’ today
I got me trusty gun and me Wellington boots
Me big coat and a tam to keep me ears warm
And me best pal Scottie is going too

Grandpa says it’s hard to catch a haggis
You have to sneak up on them real quiet like
Take them by surprise when they’re not spectin’ it
And bag them up real tight so as they wont get away

Grandpa told me that the haggis is a wild beastie
It hides away in the hills and makes a sorrowful noise
T’is only a true Scotsman that knows how to catch a haggis
And only a highlander can bide the reeking when it is being cooked

Grandpa says we have to get up early to catch a haggis
They’re awfu’ cheeky critters and they can run real swift
There’s no many Scotsmen that can catch the beasties
Cause they’re as scarce as hen’s teeth

So Grandpa and me are going haggis huntin’ today
Me pal Scottie is going with us too
Can’t wait to bag me a haggis with me trusty gun
And tote it home for my ma to cook up for our tea