Just the other day I dyed my hair.

Not because of a stupid dare.

I thought it’d be a lot of fun;

It’s something I have never done.

People told me not to do it,

They said that it just doesn’t fit.

But I had the opportunity,

To make myself feel full and giddy.

And so I took this perfect chance,

In order to vainly enhance,

My beautifully stunning looks,

That people try to steal like crooks.

My hair is now a gorgeous red.

A lovely tint atop my head.

I walk through town, fulfilled and gay,

And listen to what people say.

I sometimes get screams of surprise.

Others let out odd, desperate cries.

What are they thinking when I come?

It seems like their brain becomes numb.

I think my red hair looks really good,

And so did the boys in the “hood”.

But sometimes the stupid dye drips,

And I feel its warmth upon my lips.

But it’s no matter; I feel new.

A sexy man with a sexy due.

Who cares if it gives me spilt-ends,

Or if I loose all my friends,

Or if I get thrown into jail…

I could easily just make bail.

People would miss my awesome red hair.

They’d have nothing at which to stare.

I just can’t deny them the fun,

Of being able to turn and run.

I may feel sad that some have hurled,

But I’m at the top of the world.

After dying my hair every night,

You would think they’d learn to fight.

I beat these humans all the time.

I commit every brutal crime.

My hair turns red from all their blood,

Then I dump their bodies like crud.

I like my hair when it’s dyed red,

For those that dyed it are now all dead.