Today it’s your birthday, a milestone for you,

So here’s some wee pointers, I’m giving to you,

Your driving will slow down, now not so fast,

You know you are old when a bike flashes past,

You’ll look at the girls, which is not such a thrill,

You’ll see their short skirts, and think, they’ll get a chill,

Your eyesight will fail you, your hearing will too,

Your body will crumble, your hair will go too,

What’s left will go grey, and grow out of your nose,

Your jeans will get tighter, and harder to close,

Your back will get iffy, so watch what you do,

And these are the good points, I’m giving to you!

When you bend over, your knees, thye will crack,

But time marches on, you can’t get it back,

So now you are 50, an era now ends,

Just go otu and party, have fun with your friends,

So have a great time, and try to be brave,

Because now you are 50, your foot’s in the grave!!