“ODE TO A PHOENIX”

Days are dark, as it poured

like tea from a kettle

As far as I could remember, it rained.

so did my tears.

Sunk in the salty sea of sorrow,

I can barely see anything.

Sorrow has hived my brain,

nothing seems to pass through.

Trail of tears is prominent ,

enough to be felt

I dont  know the date ,

nor do I know the time

At times , nothing matters much .

I dint talk , not even to myself.

I wished to dissappear ,

in the smokey room .

The world ceased to exist,

all I knew were four walls

Days passed like years.

I felt old , in some weeks.

I faced the mirror , after a long time .

I saw a pale , skeltony figure ,

which used to be red and well sculpted.

My face had shrunk , my eyes swelled.

unruly hair , dry , flaky numb lips.

My cheeks had sunk in ,

I resembeled everything , not human.

I mourned , mourned and mourned.

I din’t even know why.

my mind was like a starless sky .

The rain had finally stopped,

and sun rose from slumber .

Sky was clear,

It was a bright , sunny day .

How swiftly life moves on .

It never stops , it never actually does.

Some days of mourning , some weeks of brooding,

and everything is almost identical afterwards.

Pictures fade with time ,

all what exists is a hazy picture .

Faded , haunting memories .

Even haunt lessens with time .

My heart refuses to listen to my head,

months pass by ,

like sea breeze , like flowing water .

Sans motivation , sans thought , sans life .

Although my heart is hardened,

but it still has some life.

I still think of her , when I am calm.

she still , somehow manages to haunt me ,

for I see her in my dreams.

We don’t talk , for I dont even know her name …….