All I do is write about it and I cannot stop.

All I do is think around it and it never ends.

Since I have lost you father,

my good sense sailed swiftly away

and my mind became jumbled with sin.

Every day is a struggle,

every joy is just a little incomplete.

Since you have been gone father,

this life is not a life in which I feel alive in.

I struggle to breathe,

I struggle to see,

I struggle to walk with my very own two feet.

Don’t you see me?

Can’t you see it is all what I knew it would be.

My greatest fears came to life when you died

and yet, I could never imagined

how long sad I would be.

Years it has been,

months,

weeks,

days and it has all come back to you

and the way I miss you.

I hope you feel good that you are so loved

I hope you are satisfied with your life here on earth.

Because the way I’m living my life right now

it is not one in which I will be proud of.

And I want to blame it all on you.

I do.

April 17, 2010