“Hospitals are no fun. That’s what clowns are for.”

Things I learned from hospitals:

The Waiting Room:

By the time you leave, your nipples will be able to cut glass.

It may take hours, or even days before they call your name.

People talk to you when you’re “purposely” listening to music.

Doctors:

They’re closet S&M freaks.

They love crocs.

They have feelings like a robot would if it worked in a hospital.

Patients:

Someone had a crappier day then you.

Using their wheelchair to pop wheelies really pisses them off.

No one likes a cry baby.

Medicine:

You can make a fortune.

When you count backwards from ten, why is it you only reach 8?

It makes you feel better. (What did you think I was going to say?)