How healthy is my Sex Life…? (The Questionnaire…)

Sat in the Dentists waiting room,
And I’m dreading to be called,
My eye upon a magazine,
just happened to be pulled.
How healthy is your sex life?
and there was this questionnaire..
So, having got some time to fill,
Well, I thought I would compare…
Well, my eyes they soon were open wide,
My mouth it was agape…
A deep flush burning on my cheeks,
I sat there in such a state!
Having Sex six times a week?
As if, I only muttered,
getting it just once a month,
made me think my bread was buttered!
All of these positions, and none of which I knew…
And sex toys by the bucketful…
my man, wouldn’t know what to do…
He’d moan about the battery costs,
And what he’d plug in where…
I swear he would have turned quite grey,
if only he’d had hair!
How many inches average??
You know, I almost cursed!
He said his was 12 inches,
No wonder I can’t reverse!!
I heard my name then being called,
so I’m off to get some fillings,
the questionnaire’s now in my bag,
the old man’s getting such a drilling!
How healthy is my sex life? Hah!
Well, to put it on a plate,
I think it should read R.I.P,
‘cos, it’s in a terminal state!