HOW IT HAPPENS

You are stupid, he says.

Shouting: I am not!

You are so ugly, so fat, he says.

Loudly, forcefully: No I’m not!

You are useless, he says.

Calmly, with conviction: No I am not.

You are worthless, he says.

Now hesitating: I am not.

This is your fault, he says.

Slowly and softly: No it’s not…

You can’t do anything right, he says.

In my head: I probably can’t.

Why do I put up with you, he says.

Unsure, to myself: I don’t know…

No one else will ever want you, he says.

Under my breath: No one else ever did.

I am useless, worthless, I say.

He agrees.

April 2010