I ate a big bowl of hot chili
I gobbled it down wily nilly
I was on the phone with Billy
Telling a joke that was silly
His nickname is Chilly Willie
I was wearing shorts that were short
My butt was ready for a resounding retort
I was reading the joke from a card
When an unexpected fart
Blew out really hard
Flames shot out of my caboose
Ripping the shorts seam loose
The flames went at least a yard
When it blew out my ass
It set fire to the grass
I wasn’t sure what to do
I let out a yelp
A cry for help
Some one called the fire crew
Methane in the fart
Turned the flames blue
The fire also had a greenish hue
I was on the side of the house
The part that was in the shade
When to my surprise
Running up was Dwayne Wade
He made a move that was wise
You could see his searching eyes
He grabbed the garden hose
He smelled the fire
And the fart from his nose
He really lessened my woes
The fire was out
With a couple spray blows
Next I sat on my thumb
Eating that chili
Was really just dumb
The fire marshal
Came to my door
He knocked three times
Or maybe it was four
He said he didn’t want to come back today
Then he took all my chili away
Then I took a walk to the store
And I simply bought some more
I felt another fart brewing
I knew the feeling
Of the emergence of power
To avoid a drastic replay
I took a cold shower
And ate my chili that way
My craving for chili was quenched
I was now safe from flames
Because now my clothes were drenched!!