Tell me, when will it go away?
The disillusionment, the deep pain, the aloneness
Tell me, when will it go away?

Why was I chosen to struggle with this?
Why is it so hard for others to understand?
If only they could feel and see from my perspective,
To feel my pain.
Then they would have a glimpse of understanding.

But no one should have to feel this way.
No one should feel worthless, hopeless, alone
As if nothing will ever be okay.
The tricky part is that it’s all in one’s mind.
No one can see the mind and read it,
To feel the emotions that are there.
This is absolute misery. This must be it.

People tell you that you’re making it up.
You tell yourself that you are crazy. What do you really know?
Others give advice. They point you in a million directions.
Your mind spins in confusion and turmoil.

For years I’ve lived in my own grave,
But I’m not dead yet.
I am my pain, I am my tears, I am my grave.
I feel no future. I see no hope.

And then something switches.
I climb out of my pain, in one single instant.
My grave has disappeared. And I am full of life.
I am happiness, I am life, I am my own.

I have so much to do,
So much to offer and so much to be.
I see it so very clearly.
I speak, I laugh, I smile, I am.
There is hope. There is a future.

And suddenly as happiness shines through,
Darkness hits. My grave calls me back again.
And the cycle begins again.

Misery, I did not choose you.
By chance, by God’s own allowing,
You are here- for better or for worse.
All I can do is hold on, pray, wait.
Help will come. I know this.