About a person put in a position they may not want to be in and they don’t know what it’s like to cope with it.

It’s 10pm in a cold and lonely room,
four walls of stains and names of people I don’t know.
I took the rap for you and now you’ve gone.
It makes me mad that I don’t know.

It’s 11pm in a dark, deserted room,
four walls are closing in and yet I still don’t know.
I look for and escape but my chance is gone.
It makes me sad that I don’t know.

It’s 12 midnight in a dim and dusty room,
four walls with cracks and holes from people I don’t know.
I didn’t do the crime but I’ve done the time.
It makes me mad that I don’t know.

It’s 1am in a noisy crowded street,
four walls left far behind with people that I know.
I look around for you but you’ve long gone.
It makes me sad that I don’t know.

I don’t know, what it’s like to be free,
I don’t know, what it’s like to be me.
I don’t know, what it’s like to be free,
I don’t know, what it’s like cause I just can’t see.

I just can’t see, what you mean to me and
I can’t be, what you want me to be.
So get your stuff and get away from me,
I can’t see what you mean to me.

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Comments (26)
  • clay hurtubise on Feb 18, 2009

    I like this, leaving old baggage behind.
    Thanks,
    Clay

  • MichaelJoeKing on Feb 18, 2009

    I especially like the repetition of “I don’t know, what it’s like to be free”. That really provides emphasis on the feeling of entrapment. Very effective.

  • Reilley on Feb 18, 2009

    Nice flow and rhythm, very evocative. Good work.

  • Paul Roberts on Feb 18, 2009

    I could really “feel” this . Your fan,smile

  • payge on Feb 18, 2009

    A interesting piece,I like the flow and creativity of the piece.

  • Darla Smith on Feb 18, 2009

    Great poem! I know the feeling of being trapped and not having your freedom.

  • Betty Carew on Feb 18, 2009

    great job Alistair very creative

  • Bren Parks on Feb 18, 2009

    Yes, well done! A candid peek at a very private thing….

  • Annie Hintsala on Feb 18, 2009

    Good repetition to keep the whole thing wrapped together. Alot of angry poetry this month, but that’s okay. Emotion makes good poems.

  • Brenda Nelson on Feb 18, 2009

    good poem, most people never learn some coping skills, in part I think because their parents try too hard to shelter them from disappointment.

  • Mark Gordon Brown on Feb 18, 2009

    almost sounds like song lyrics in addition to being poetry

  • postpunkpixie on Feb 18, 2009

    I love the repetition and I adore that second to last stanza.

  • ML Sheldon on Feb 18, 2009

    Oh, wonderful piece of work. I don\’t even have the words to describe what I think of it…
    It has do much depth and meaning, and such a strong message. A very good piece.

  • cardy on Feb 18, 2009

    Nice work, liked this a lot.

  • rutherfranc on Feb 18, 2009

    I agree with Mark, this could have been easily a song.. good piece!

  • miraj on Feb 19, 2009

    Hi,

    This is uniquely presented and brings about the true feelings of an individual in such situations.well put.

    my deepest respect and gratitude,Alistair
    LOVE IS ALL

    Walk in beauty change the world.

  • Louie Jerome on Feb 19, 2009

    Lovely words. I can almost imagine this piece as the lyrics for a song.

  • Lisa Clayton Williams on Feb 19, 2009

    Good one! I liked that it was stark, but with lots of emotion at the same time.

  • K Kristie on Feb 20, 2009

    Nice poem.

  • Glynis Smy on Feb 20, 2009

    I enjoyed this,it has a basis for a song.

  • Alistair Briggs on Feb 20, 2009

    Thanks for all your kind words.
    Yeah a few of the ‘poems’ I have written have in fact been written more as lyrics, in fact this one plus one called ‘I Remember’ do actually have music to go with it. Perhaps in the future I will get them online for people to hear (perhaps with out singing on it,)

  • Joni Keith on Feb 20, 2009

    Sort of a chilling insight at the end. I agree, it has the making of a song.

  • Uma Shankari on Feb 22, 2009

    Very powerful and with strong imagery. It oozes of desperation….

  • stephencardiff on Feb 28, 2009

    good use of words

  • writing4angels on Mar 8, 2009

    I don\’t know what it\’s like writing a comment,
    Am I so thoughtful or careless at that moment?
    Don\’t know what I do always but right now
    I have fallen in beautiful trap don\’t know how?

  • Mrs. Turaz on May 9, 2009

    You don’t have to sing it.

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