I Fall Apart

Some nights consists of toss and turns

And recollections of the past

I want it back

I want the way my family used to be back

I want my mother’s pain to cease

I want to help myself get released

I don’t want to see you in the ground like that

How do I talk to you?

Do I lie above your body and tell you all my plans and goals or do you know that already?

A part of me died the day you did

I’m still dealing with it

Devastation has riddled my body

I’m marking time and want to get as far as I can from the date that you died

I don’t know why

I’m tired of crashing into these thoughts and my big regrets

That continues to hang over my head

Every single night

Sometimes I can’t believe you’re dead

I fall apart