I once knew a guy
Who ate a big pie
And puked it all up in his shoes,
So he bought a guitar
From somewhere afar,
And started learning the blues.

Then he tried rap,
Wore a baseball cap
Backwards on top of his head,
Shouted, “Our gang is great!
Your gang we hate!”
And “You’re all going to be dead!”

Then he went to Iraq
With a huge rucksack,
Where his sister gave birth to his mother,
Then on to Peru
Where he bought a canoe
For his wife, who was also his brother.

His uncle then said,
“I’d rather be dead
Than eating my own weight in custard!”
To which he replied,
“I’ve never once tried,
But I do quite like eating mustard!”

And so to this guy,
I say “bye bye,”
And wave at him from a boat,
As he takes off his pants,
Pees on some ants,
And rides his way home on a goat…