I woke up again today and asked God, “Why am I still here?”  Strange, I have yet to hear His answer; did He even hear my words?  Life has been far from enjoyable for me you see, I’ve spent it constantly explaining my decisions, my actions, my words, to those who do not know me.

        My burden is too heavy for me to bear and yet I was told that if I called out to Him, my load would be lightened.  Have I been forsaken?  Anger rushes over me as I struggle to understand His delay and still remain strong in my battle to keep my faith.  I feel as though I’ve been taken.

        How can I continue to tell others to believe and to be strong, when in my own heart, I am fighting to hold on and just to someday, belong?  I still claim Jesus as my savior and I believe that He died for me, but for so long now, I have been walking this path of solitude; alone.

         I hear His word in my heart and I feel His conviction when I’ve said or done wrong, but why are the games of temptation allowed to persist so far from His throne?  Before I find myself at the bottom of a pit, I keep searching for a hand to unfold before me, waiting to intertwine His fingers completely within my grip.

        Maybe I have angered Him beyond all repair, because of late, my words aloud haven’t been kind much less fair.  Has He called my name and I missed His ship?  Someone who is blessed, if it is proper of me to ask, please touch my life because if left unattended too long, the enemy will be the one who plans my trip.

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