Dirty dishes in the sink
The toilet’s giving out a stink
‘Tis enough to make me turn to drink!
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Clothes are strewn on the floor
Muddy footprints by the door
Housework’s such a bloody bore!
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

There’s limescale marks upon the tub
I’d rather be up in the pub
Does she think I am Super Hub?
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Dug! wants to go out to play
Mustn’t forget those bills to pay
There’s not enough hours in the day!
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Dirty laundry’s needing done
That’s not my idea of fun
So bear with me a little Hon!
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Hoover, dust, and make the bed
Don’t forget to shop she said
It’s doing in my bloody head!
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Too late now I hear the key
The front door’s open it is she
Is that the time? it just can’t be!
I’ll have a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Snuggling on the couch that night
I am feeling quite aroused all right
“Just wait Hon,” she says, “Alright?”
I’ll make a cup of tea

After a cup of tea or two
And a cigarette or three
I’ll be galvanised into action
And be all that I can be…

Life is Cruel and life is hard
For this passionate, sensitive bard
Hoisted by my own petard!
I’ll have a cup of tea