How is it I’m so vulnerable?
The sun now shines in
through those empty
hollows you left behind.
In me, violently torn,
you left those spaces.

Memories flood back
at every anxiety.
Water pouring through,
a never-ending stream
of my hurt, my thoughts,
and my greatest regrets.

All I can see is this water,
its crystalline exterior
vibrant as crisp sunlight
shines through to
falsify my constant worry.
The worry that fights
away much needed sleep.
The worry that cripples
every step I take in life.
That very same worry
that keeps me here.

Eyes masked with
the brightest colors.
Smiles portrayed like
those of great actors.
Peace only temporary;
the turmoil receded
then back again.

I then have the love,
the killer persistence,
to continue on
and not die off,
not without being
torn to shreds first.

I must be dead,
yet my chest rises with
every breath, and falls
with every fear that
I may lose my everything.

I must be dead,
but I know I live
and I will keep breathing.
So I’ll save this sadness
for another rainy day
when the sun shines
and my heart aches.