Is love ever really a decision?

Everything is perfect,
and nothing makes sense.
One half-silly smile,
a split second knowing glance
and you’ve lifted me from the ground,
freed me from the laws of man and earth.

And just because of that,
I’m afraid to love you.

It’s not your fault.
Don’t blame yourself.
It’s me.
I’m afraid for you, and I’m afraid for me,
but I still feel my pulse racing
the instant you appear,
a tingling that starts in my fingertips,
then shoots up my body,.. a pulsating lightning bolt
that splashes into my mind
and explodes into.. hot.. blinding white light.
A buzzing, stomping insistence that I recognize
the affect you have on me.
I’m left short of breath, eyes wide, dizzy
and suddenly, longing for your gentle touch.

Chaos inside
I am everywhere
and nowhere.
I am limitless yet tethered
I am willingly losing control
but the fear balances on my edge…
I cannot lose control, again,
and the confusion makes me afraid.
Afraid to love you.

I know
if I let myself
I would be with you forever
which is much longer than a lifetime.
I would take all my choices, my dreams, my fear
and set them at your feet
my.. gifts of sacrifice for the only one
for who I would give my life

I would confess to you my joy
and hide in you my pain
for I know that you would view
each with a critical but loving eye,
You understand that I’m not the perfect man
that I pretend to be
you’re ok that sometimes
I’m not even up
to being me.
You accept me as I am.
You’re the only one.
It feels so right,
which is exactly why
I’m afraid to love you.

Still, I see it in you.
I’m not that blind.
I can see what I’m afraid to see.
You’re eyes shine when I talk to you
of simple things.
You’re breath catches in your throat
when you’ve made me smile
I make you laugh… You make me laugh.
At little things and when we’re angry.
When I am near you
I feel as though I should sing.
I wish for nothing
except our songs entwined.
I feel you tremble at my lightest touch.
You are a dove
unfearful of my captive embrace.
I belong to you,
and you to me.

Oh God, help me
because that’s exactly why
I’m afraid to love you…

… but I do…

74
Liked it
  • melecia on Sep 8, 2007

    great poem, I can relate to how you feel. Very touching

  • Sandra on Oct 11, 2007

    What a dream it would be to have been the inspiration for this one…

  • j on Oct 8, 2008

    beautiful and so real.

  • Will Davis on Jan 6, 2009

    man I agree with this. You really put my feelings into prosective here.

  • --- on Feb 15, 2009

    Omg, this goes so well with a story that I write.(http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4840963/1/Sutures)
    this is so beautiful and powerful

  • Aine on Nov 20, 2011

    I’m doing a poetry assignment and i’m trying to find a poem to write about that has to deal with acceptance. Would it be ok if i used this one?

  • Aine K on Nov 20, 2011

    I\’m doing a poetry assignment and i\’m trying to find a poem to write about that has to deal with acceptance. Would it be ok if i used this one?

  • Aine K on Nov 20, 2011

    I\’m doing a poetry assignment and i\’m trying to find a poem to write about that has to deal with acceptance. Would it be ok if i used this one?

  • TP Sage on Nov 21, 2011

    Feel free to use it anyway you want.

Leave a Comment
comments powered by Disqus

Hi there!

Hello! Welcome to Authspot, the spot for creative writing.
Read some stories and poems, and be sure to subscribe to our feed!

Find the Spot

Loading