June 28, 2010

I’m trembling as I pick up my pen

Future unknown what will happen tomorrow

Will my day be filled with joy or sorrow

Or better yet, what’s in store for the next minute

I thought the tough times had ended

But apparently they didn’t

Am I really in it to win it

Or just coasting along on my way to the finish

If I changed how I live

Would anything be different

I can see my goal clearly

But I can’t seem to get near it

Time is going on and on

Never slowing

Crawling by day after day

I don’t ever have time to find my way

But I WILL be a success

Fuck all the odds

Time is still moving on

Impatiently it plods

Not giving me time to catch my breath

When I’m too overwhelmed 

I pray fervently for death

But it never comes

I feel like I’m drowning

I can’t get any air into my lungs

I chose the harder path

Going through toils n fears

There are times when I simply can’t hold back the tears

Has my life been wasted in these 29 years?

I feel only emptiness as I pray for the end to be near

There are so many things in my heart to do

You’d probably be surprised 

If you only knew

Most of all I want my daughter

I want a real home

I want a peaceful happy life

How can I put an end to all my misery and strife

It seems to be impossible

Though I know that’s not true

I’ve got to take some time to allow my spirit to renew

But I can’t find my ballance

I keep getting lost

I do whatever I want

But is it worth the cost?

I try to live life the best that I can

I feel that I may be taking my final stand