I look at the items surrounding me. 

There’s pills, belts, a bottle of whiskey. 

If I wanted to, I could do anything.

There’s tears streaming down my face.

Everything is at a slow pace.

Lately in life, everything has been wrong.

My sanity is too far gone.

I pick the items all up look at them in my hands. 

I’m just a teen. I shouldn’t have these pills. I shouldn’t even know the brands.

Everyday is so hard. My parents they don’t treat me well.

Going to my high school; well that’s just hell.

I look at my friend’s lives. 

So together, so right.

Do they cry as hard as I do every single night?

We all have our problems. But it seems like I have the most.

What if tonight I turned into a ghost? 

I scream at my words. The pills, I shove off my bed.

When did I become so sick in the head?

When did I look at everyday as a curse. 

Why do I feel like it’s just getting worse? 

Each day is a gift, I should be glad I’m still here.

I should be glad I’m not stupid and didn’t go there. 

I should stop doing this every night to myself.

I should get down and thank god for everything that i got.

But the pain is still there. And it will be there tomorrow too. 

I’ll get depressed and cry, and not know what to do.

Because the pills are still there. And I know they are too. 

Maybe tomorrow I’ll just fall asleep. 

Maybe this debate will stop at it’s feet.

Till then I rest my head on my pillow and try to relax. 

I think about the whiskey, the belt, and the bottle of Xanax.