Just my lover…

Have I loved you forever or just these past few days?

It seems a bit confusing you see

Because it’s so fresh and so new,

But if I seem to remember you

Back in those tender adolescent times

And not just in these too wise middle aged years.

But then you were always too wise,

You and your startlingly dreamy, too sexy eyes…

You terrified me then, I remember now,

It was all I could to just smile.

You’re a little scary now, still

But that just serves to fascinate me more,

If such is at all possible…

Have we been together or apart all these years in between?

Pardon me if it slips my mind.

We fit together so well it feels like we could have been partners always,

But it comes back to me now,

The years I wasted away from you.

Time that should have been spent with you naked beside me,

And beneath me and above me and dying for more

Yet having all we could ever want.

Yes, I seem to recall aching for you in pubescent agony

And adolescent angst…

Mesmerizingly close but excruciatingly far,

You teased me unmercifully without even knowing it.

And now I hear that you felt quite the same.

An impenetrable barrier of mere inches that

Seems to have grown into thirty-odd years…

I don’t seem to be able to recall

Just how this could possibly have happened…

Such inexhaustible passion

Passing lethally close and then what?

Ahh, it comes back to me now,

We were merely fools,

Playing a mysterious game…

We didn’t know the rules and by the time we learned…

Well it doesn’t matter now,

I remember, i don’t really think I loved you,

Then as now…

must be just of longing…of wanting and of needing you more…

but love…we can’t afford that…

things will get more complicated if we allow it…

all we could do is just avoid it…or avoid us…