In the middle of the night they kidnapped the Don,

They took him for a ride near Lake Wobegon,

There, they chastised him and "worked him over",

Leaving his body lifeless by the four-leaf clovers,

Some say it was the Russians,

Others say it was a rival family,

The Don still has amnesia and acts rather silly,

Was it a ploy to take over the Empire?

Or was someone feeding lies to the Feds via wire?

It is all just a mystery waiting to unravel,

Until his Henchmen have the Perpetrators eating gravel.