Last Gift of Karma
by mazHur (mazhar butt)

Life is always difficult
It has been always difficult
It will always remain so
For reasons of its own.
Born in a small town
60 years ago
At my grandmother’s home
Aided by an unqualified midwife
For my parents didn’t have the resources
To pay for the maternity hospital charges.
Yet I think I was lucky to see the light of the day!
It all happened in 1950
Soon after the great Divide of India on 14th August 1947
When Mother India gave  birth to a ‘child’
Now known as Pakistan!
Emigrating from Bombay to Pakistan
My parents took refuge in Karachi
A city now grown beyond limits
Having more than 20 Million breathing
I grew up in this city….
Had my schooling at the best school there,
Yes, the elite school called Karachi Grammar School.
Even though my parents belonged to lower middle class 
They wanted me to study and become a big man. a bureaucrat perhaps,
They wished their son became a doctor or an engineer
of whom they could be proud of.
But their dreams didn’t come out true
And how could they when someone else dreams
But thinks his dreams would fit someone else??
Ah! I disappointed my parents!
I couldn’t do good at studies
And my interest withered
My sexual desire revolted against me
And I  began   sporting love
One girl, then another, then another..
Oh! How wonderful I was at that job
That’s the greatest pleasure of all
Good for my girlfriends
Who fully shared and enjoyed love
Those were terrific moments of my life…
An era of Romanticism!
Then came the ordeal…
I had to find a job but there were none
Nepotism and corruption ran over merit
I stayed jobless….then..
Having no choice I joined my father’s business
Which I hated from my heart!
Brokerage, yeah, brokerage which I hated like hell!
I took to another business of my choice
financed by my dear father.
It went well and I got married
Then suddenly my Karma changed for worse
My business went bust!
I was again jobless and hard up
Ah, what miserable days were those!
Well, time is the healer and fate unknown
Finally absolved I started another commercial pursuit
 Beginning with scratch
  I took  my business to zenith in a few years!
All was changed…life seemed like spring breeze!
But luck never stays the same
No gambler always wins in LasVegas!
Stakes are always high for wagerers
And the superfecta was not allowed me by fate.
I didn’t go bust but was pushed into hot waters
While all this was happening my wife
had borne four children
Small angels as children are lovingly called.
To make a long story short I survived
all odds even though I paid huge price for them
the greatest hurt and loss being the death of my wife
Children grew up and got married
I was left alone…….as if born again of nowhere!
Oh My God! Damn this loneliness…
this ruthless killing serpent
Which not only bites but winds around your soul too!
More than a decade passed by in the lonely jungle
With no one to love, no one to care for
No one to talk to, no one to kiss  her lips
No one to hold by her hips
No one to think about my calamity, my misery
No one but just grown up kids around
And a few grandchildren coming forth!
That was the only love …filial love!
Then suddenly  my Karma took a turn
A girl fell in love with me!
Wow!  How  pretty lucky was that for me
  a young girl loving me more than I loved her!
She wanted to marry me ….Ah!
 She  loved me like Rose Dawson of the Titanic!
We made a deal but Karma again intervened
My kids weren’t happy at my decision to remarry
they just couldn’t accept me sharing life with my love
Damn possessiveness, an offshoot of sheer stupidity
Damn cultural norms, the hallmark of the eunuchs!
People believe in religions
Yet practically they deny them
When it comes to practice!
This is why I think vocational schools are better
Than other schools…because there
You DO what you are taught!
Customs, culture, society, religion
Are nothing but a self-imposed mode of self-deception, hypocrisy, lingering  death.
 Emily Dickinson  wasn’t wrong when she called them: A narrow thing in the grass!!
A syllabus which is mainly humanities or pseudo-science
A practice of science without practicals
A fight over who was who who created us
A dispute over who was who the greatest of all men!
A brawl over which land belongs to whom
A struggle which has failed to bring  peace
A conundrum, a paradox, a never-ending dilemma, an eternal  curse!
Never mind, I have made up my mind
I have sworn an oath to my beloved
Never to leave her..never!
For my love…though second love you may call it
Is  the reward, a gift my Karma has bestowed on me
And I am Not going to let it go  down the drain
Let  Happen what may be!