A poem about a friend which has died, and the boy misses her and feels great guilt over her death.

You did what I tried and failed. You were always better than me, and you knew it. But you still never thought any better of yourself. I guess that if you hadn’t have moved, this wouldn’t have happened. You should have come back. I missed you. A lot. I’ll guess I’ll miss you even more now that you’re gone from this world, the only trace left of you is you body rotting in the cold hard ground. We could have been lonely and depressed together, like old times. And I would have let you meet my girlfriend. You are the only one that’s nice enough for me to let meet her. All the rest are worthless and ignorant. But I guess you know that more than anyone. This world is a cold, disgusting, hateful place, and I want to do my best to protect her. I guess I should have protected you too, but after you moved, we almost stopped talking complete. And when we did talk, you always tried to cheer me up (or annoy me). We never talked about you. It wasn’t that I didn’t try, it was more that you didn’t like to talk about things like that. You had always gotten used to me being there with you and experiencing the same thing. And I know you loved it. I know you loved me. But it would have never had worked out, we were just too close as friends. I would never, and have never, felt that away about you. Imagine if you were still in my school. I’d get into fights, and you would always get into the same ones. We’d be the freaks that go round screaming at everyone and anyone. There was a big change in my life, and that was when you left. I started to hate people that day. I mean really hate them. I’m sorry we grew apart. I’m sorry you went too far, and did what I never could. If I had known, I can’t say what I would have done, but you should know that whatever I would have done, it would have been over the top, dramatic, and crazy. As normal. As you would have expected. As you would have wanted.  As you needed. R.I.P friend,  I have your blood on my hands. And I will never try to wash it off.

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