Freedom by way of revolver: our patron hesitates, then takes the ultimate step.

Image via Wikipedia

Chambered,

Sleek,

Polished,

Lethal,

Weapon.

Raised,

Mouth,

Inserted,

Removed,

Lowered,

Tears.

Thoughts,

Anguish,

Memories,

Pictures,

Worth,

Pain,

Tired.

Raised,

Temple,

Safety,

Hammer,

Trigger,

Escape.

27
Liked it
Comments (32)
  • Princess Dre on Jun 3, 2009

    Okay- that was too the point and deep- nice write – God Bless – Princess

  • Joie Schmidt on Jun 3, 2009

    Powerful work.*

    Blessings.

    Sincerely,

    -Liane Schmidt.

  • goodselfme on Jun 3, 2009

    This is a good PIECE.

  • SJ Dickens on Jun 4, 2009

    Nice point.. I’m a peace loving person, but ironically.. I love guns hehe. I love sports firing.
    Shalom!

  • swatilohani on Jun 4, 2009

    great

  • B.S. Kitty on Jun 4, 2009

    Nice an ode to the pistol. Good poem Clay.

  • Juhls on Jun 4, 2009

    Scary and sad topic, but this is well done, having so much power through its simple infusion of feeling- and action-words associated with guns and suicide.

  • rizzei on Jun 4, 2009

    great work:) you got a very unique style in this post..:)

  • MMV Abad on Jun 4, 2009

    Well done. Nice work with the flow of words.

  • Deep Blue on Jun 4, 2009

    Wow I never realized a single word could define such poetic lines in the most critical detail. Was that the gun Dean Winchester used to kill the demon in Supernatural? Good work my friend.

  • Papa Sparks on Jun 4, 2009

    Powerful stuff.

  • Duff D Moss on Jun 4, 2009

    Wow – dark dude – really dark. That’s a beauty!

  • Brenda Nelson on Jun 4, 2009

    Texas

  • Mark Gordon Brown on Jun 4, 2009

    The loneliness and despiration in this man/person was punctuated by the fact you used one word per line – excellent.

  • Ruby Hawk on Jun 4, 2009

    Sad to say, that\’s the way it happens all to often. Sometimes life jut seems too much to bear but thankfully most of the time we can step aside and move on. You put your finger on the emotions.

  • Myles ODonnell on Jun 4, 2009

    Hello old friend! Sorry I haven\’t been responding much, I\’ve been busy. This is a great poem, very intense.

  • Sheila M on Jun 4, 2009

    Dark and very deep in so few words ~ love it

  • 101 on Jun 4, 2009

    Clay, great read on your visions.reallexpressive and clean.great write for sure my friend!always,Gary La Buda

  • Jerry Bradford aka Jerry Atrixx on Jun 4, 2009

    Dark and Intense. Simple, clear images that leave you almost hearing the clap of the firing.

    Jerry

  • Elicia Turbeville on Jun 4, 2009

    Wow. love it. Strong! Emotional. Skilled. Awesome. great piece!

  • swatilohani on Jun 4, 2009

    apt

  • nobert soloria bermosa on Jun 5, 2009

    one of the best suicide weapons

  • Bick Parker on Jun 5, 2009

    Great piece, though sombre. Suicide by Triond overpayment would be preferred! Fat chance of that happening …

    Ah-ha, you were innoculated with anti-nanorobotics vaccine as young child uh? Oh dear, look at what you’re going to miss out on!

  • Jenny Heart on Jun 5, 2009

    Great poem presentation. Hate guns, however if one needs to protect ones self.

  • C Jordan on Jun 6, 2009

    Trigger – Escape? If that happens you will never know how the story ends.

  • JJ Patton on Jun 7, 2009

    Very good job. Single words on single lines came together and formed just the right picture in my mind. Astounding! Thanks for sharing

  • PR Mace on Jun 7, 2009

    That was powerfully written. More to your dark side, I think.

  • CHAN LEE PENG on Jun 8, 2009

    Wow, wow, wow, my friend! You can make poem with one word each row..impressive..

  • numismatic on Jun 9, 2009

    That photo does not catch your eye then what will?

  • C. Stew on Jun 19, 2009

    Impressive. One line stanzas all the way down, powerful enough to create deep emotion, and with a deep meaning. Suicide is one of the hardest topics to tackle and you did it quite well. Excellent work.

  • StumbleUponWriter on Jun 22, 2009

    WOW!! This is one of those poems that I\’ve always like as well. I call this a cool sharp shooter..awesome, bro..keep these writings up.:)

  • Lilen Fayee on Jul 10, 2009

    Very nice, i liked it.. it is a good way to tell a story in few words and not lose the quality of the piece…

Leave a Comment

Hi there!

Hello! Welcome to Authspot, the spot for creative writing.
Read some stories and poems, and be sure to subscribe to our feed!

Find the Spot

Loading